Do you ever really forget your first heartbreak? (The Last Song)

Heartbreak. Everybody feels it. What is a heartbreak? No one wants to figure it out. What for? They know it when they feel it. It makes you cry a lot. You’re there with your straight face when all of the sudden that sad thoughts come to you then you couldn’t help but crying. It’s like a part of your body is aching, but you can’t find which part it is and don’t know how to cure it. When it hurts so much it seems like your heart is a massive black hole that sucking your whole body into it until it completely disappears. I felt it then I knew it. It was a heartbreak.

But have you ever felt a heartbreak without realizing it? Well, I have. I’ve felt this heartbreak for many years, but I just realized that it was a heartbreak when I watched the movie entitled The Last Song, adapted from Nicholas Sparks’ novel with the same title. The main character of this movie is a teenager named Veronica Miller or Ronnie, as they call her. This girl is so defensive to all people around her, faithless, and stubborn. When I saw her and caught her words, I told myself : ” That sounds like me”. Well, so I watched this movie and found out the reason behind her behavior : her parents’ divorce. She can’t tolerate when people make a mistake to her. I do too. Afraid to rely herself on someone. Me too. Insecure? Definitely yes. She pushes people away. Me either. In short, we are both afraid to get hurt. For the second time. Third time and so on because we think we can’t handle it.

” It’s what I do, Mom. I push people away.” -Ronnie Miller, The Last Song

The divorce happened when I was a little girl, so what would a little girl know about a heartbreak? As the year passes I’ve found it. Can do nothing about it but deal with it. It affects my behavior of course. I’m afraid of losing. If we can’t have someone with me until the end then why do we have to have him/her in my life from the first place? That kind of behavior called ‘build walls around you so you won’t get hurt’. That works for me..until now.

“ Love is fragile, Ronnie. And we’re not always its best caretakers. We just muddle through and do the best we can and hope this fragile thing survives against all odds.” -Steve Miller (Ronnie’s father), The Last Song

At the end of the movie Ronnie finally realizes that people make mistakes, even when they don’t want to. She can’t just kick someone’s out of her life just because he/she makes a mistake. Like she does to her love, Will. And there’s always a reason behind every mistakes, but the mistakes aren’t made in order to hurt someone, especially the beloved ones. And Ronnie has been through many things to realize this thing, especially when she finds out about his father’s cancer.

“ People make mistakes, Will. Even the people that we love.”- Ronnie Miller, The Last Song

Now I’m still learning to fix myself. I don’t want to be like this forever : never want to stay because afraid of being left or abandoned, never want to love deeply because afraid of being hurt, never want to accept because afraid of being declined, never want to believe because afraid of being betrayed. I hope I’m on my way to be less fragile than who I used to be.

“ We’re not perfect. Any of us. We make mistakes, we screw up, but then we forgive and we move forward.” -Kim (Ronnie’s mother), The Last Song

- Me, Avridita Savitri

hoping for U.S through Jakarta

Me and monick was having a trip to Jakarta last Sunday. Thought it would be fun going outside town without parental guidance. But unfortunately it wasn’t THAT fun though we REALLY had our adventures. Congrats!! haha. -___-“

Since our application form’s for a scholarship in U.S deadline was sooo close, monick and I decided to give it straight to the office (IIEF in Menara Imperium,Kuningan,Jakarta). We didn’t want to put our dream,hope, and future on a postman’s hand. Sorry, that sentence is just so absurd. We had gone through many processes in completing the form. It was so tiring that made us both want to throw up. I don’t want to explain each of them. No no no.. I may throw up!!

The day before (it was Saturday then), I had to go to Puntang (it’s a mountain) to observe this place with my friends..you know…work thingy. I couldn’t feel my body because I was sitting on a motorcycle for hours and my clothes are wet. I got news from monick that our forms were brought outside town by our lecturer and we had to take them to her house at 7 PM (which meant that we couldn’t go by my uncle’s car because he said that he would go back to Jakarta at very THAT hour). Once again I was sitting on a motrorcycle in the rain. But one fact which was so pleasing. My lecturer’s house was beyond ordinary. It was so hard to find the right house because the door was hidden in like…you know.. a tunnel. There were so many paintings. In short, I knew it was my dream house at the first time I saw it.

We arrived at my house at 8.30 PM (still wet, and got the news that my uncle JUST left the house). We talked about many things then off to bed then bla…bla…bla. Sunday, we decided to go by bus because it was easier to reach my aunt’s house that way though we were craving to be on a train. I could tell we were so excited. Until we arrived at the bus station. First, we didn’t know how to get the ticket (do we have to buy it in a locket or just get on the bus). Second, we didn’t know which bus to take. Third, people were staring. All of them were confusing, but the last one was frightening. Asking the officer wasn’t a help at all. Then We picked the wrong guy to trust.

He said: ” Mau kemana neng?”

We: ” Kampung Rambutan”

Then the next thing we knew that a crowd of people came to us and kept saying something like “neng ini langsung berangkat neng”, and “neng ini ber AC”, and bla..bla…bla..! Then one of them snatched monick’s bag. I was so shocked and kept asking her why did she let the man do that. In short, we wre “dragged” to a bus. I thought “oh..air conditioner..fine then”. But when the bus stopped every now and then and there were sellers back and forth we knew one thing. We took the wrong bus, and economy class bus. What the..

Arrived at Kampung Rambutan’s bus station and the situation wasn’t better. It was raining heavily. The crowd of young men who rented the umbrella were shouting, wanting us to rent their umbrella. I didn’t want to get off the bus because I thought with such an attitude they’d able to eat us alive. But finally I could encourage myself. My thought wasn’t a far cry from the reality happened. I’d better not spill it. So traumatic. haha.

I’ll go straight ahead to our next important moment.

“Menara Imperium”

Imperium Tower

was beyond “WOW!!”

I feel like being transferred to another country when I got in.

Spesifically? U.S!!!

More specific then? NEW YORK!!

Just imagine it by yourself.. It felt like seeing my dream right in front of my eyes.

We got train for coming home. So glad!! FYI : lost at the train station and nearly lost the train also. I was running a the train station. Really fast. How cool is that?haha. That was such an experience, I couldn’t close my eyes.

Such an adventure!!

Hope our attempts will be paid, but if it doesn’t we’ve got the lessons.

Cause lessons and experiences are very expensive. And also Jakarta is so expensive.haha!

Unknown

Don't know which one is true
Cause the time i used to kill with you guys
Has turned so blue

I can't bring back those laughters
I can't bring back those dull times we brought to be so bright
I can't be pretending to be so sober
Surrounded by reality that might bite

I can't feel you here
Though your presence is so near
Every words I hear
Makes me crawling on fear

Now,being with you guys I feel so unknown
It fees like i'm on my own
I know you have your dreams and want to reach them on your own
But I never thought we could be this unknown..
To each other..



Avrdita Savitri

Inspiring Words by A. Fuadi

I'm running out of words to tell you how inspiring the words from Negeri 5 Menara are.
I want to let you know which parts of the novel that are so touching for me.
I hope they can inspire you as well. Especially in facing the obstacles in your life.


"Sebuah puncak menara telah tiada, tapi dia tidak runtuh. Hanya sedang tumbuh dibangun di tempat lain. "

As a human, we lose many things in our lives. Some of them meant to go, and others stay. It becomes difficult when we have to lose or let go of something or someone we love so much. We terribly want them to be in our life, but we have to be sincere. This sentence reminds us that something or someone sometimes isn't meant to be with us. They're happy in somewhere else, taking a different path with us.



"Jangan pernah takut atau tunduk kepada siapa pun. Takutlah hanya kepada Allah. Karena yang membatasi kita atas dan bawah hanyalah tanah dan langit."

When you scare of something just remember this quote.



"Mungkin beginilah seharusnya ujian disambut, sebuah perayaan terhadap ilmu. Dengan gempita. Selain itu, aku kira, pesta ujian yang meriah ini juga dibuat agar kami sekali-kali tidak boleh pernah takut apalagi trauma dengan ujian. Bahkan diharapkan kami kebal terhadap tekanan ujian dan bahkan bisa menikmati ujian itu. Apalagi ujian akan terus datang dalam berbagai rupa sampai akhir hayat kami nanti."

When you face some obstacles in your life just remember they don't last forever.
God tests you because God loves you. If you can pass each test, you're stronger, better, and higher to the next level. ;)



"Bila kamu melihat kemungkaran, ubahlah dengan tanganmu, kalau tidak mampu, ubahlah dengan kata-kata, kalau tidak mampu juga, dengan hatimu."

It pleases so much for me and all of you who don't like to speak much to know that only by a heart you can change something from bad to be good. :)



"Jadi pilihlah suasana hati kalian, dalam situasi paling kacau sekalipun. Karena kalianlah master da peguasa hati kalian,. Dan hati yang selalu bisa dikuasai pemiliknya adalah hati orang yang sukses."

"Resep lainnya adalah tidak pernah mengizinkan diri kalian dipengaruhi oleh unsur di luar diri kalian. Oleh siapa pun, apa pun, dan suasana bagaimana pun. Artinya, jangan mau sedih, marah,kecewa dan takut karena ada faktor luar. Kalianlah yang berkuasa terhadap diri kalian sendiri, jangan serahkan kekuasaan kepada orang lain. Orang boleh menodong senapan, tapi kalian punya pilihan, untuk takut atau tetap tegar. Kalian punya pilihan di lapisan diri kalian paling dalam, dan itu tidak ada hubungannya dengan pengaruh luar."

You can be happy if you let yourself to be happy. You're sad because you allow yourself to take a pity on yourself. Happiness is about your mindset. That's what one of my classmate said to me. You're what you think and what you feel. Don't let other people or bad situation make you suffer.




"Man shabara zhafira. Siapa yang bersabar akan beruntung. Jangan risaukan penderitaan hari ini, jalani saja dan lihatlah apa yang akan terjadi di depan. Karena yang kita tuju bukan sekarang, tapi ada yang lebih besar dan prinsipil, yaitu menjadi manusia yang telah menemukan misinya dalam hidup."

When you're in trouble just be patient. Don't let unimportant things be in your way. There are something you have to ignore in order to be focused on your future.



"Mandirilah maka kamu akan jadi orang merdeka dan maju. I'timad ala nafsi, bergantung pada diri sendiri, jangan dengan orang lain. Cukuplah bantuan Tuhan yang menjadi anutanmu."

Only God who can help you in every way. When you have to do something bad to get a help or fortune in your life, remember this sentences. Bad things lead to a bad result, and good things lead to a good result. Do in a good way, trust God in every aspect of your life.



"Percaya kalau kalian bisa kalau berusaha. Sesungguhnya bahasa asing adalah anak kunci jendela-jendela dunia."

For me and for all of my friends who are in the same path with me--studying foreign languages: Isn't it so inspiring? We can if we try. Maybe years after we graduate we will open the different windows, but with the same key: foreign language.


"Menurut Kia kami, pendidikan PM tidak membedakan agama dan non agama. Semuanya satu dan semuanya berhubungan. Agama langsung dipraktekkan dalam kegiatan sehari hari. Di Madani, agama adalah oksigen, dia ada dimana-mana."

Don't ever let go of your belief in every aspect in your life. It's the one that leads you and the place to lean on.

"Tapi aku selalu terpesona melihat bangunan , pohon, taman dan kota diselimuti salju putih berkilat-kilat. Rasanya tentram, ajaib, dan aneh."

I have my obsession to feel winter. I'm so glad if i find any good quotes that adore snow and winter. Winter is so cold, mysterious, and beautiful.


"Jangan pernah remehkan impian walau setinggi apapun. Tuhan sungguh Maha Mendengar."

"Man jadda wa jadda, siapa yang bersungguh-sungguh akan berhasil."

Finally, I was always thinking when I first read this book those above are the strongest quotes. They give you faith. Don't stop dreaming cause we're always able to pray. Praying and struggling. When we have them both...no one can stop us!

It's Good to Read Some Beautiful Words

Tapi menatapnya adalah untuk mencintai dia, cinta hanyalah berarti dia, dan cinta itu abadi.--Robert Burns



Jika cintaku padamu lebih sedikit, aku akan bisa lebih banyak membicarakannya.--Emma the Movie

For Every Woman Who Dreams of Beauty

Title of The Book :
Kabul Beauty School
Author :
Deborah Rodriguez with Kristin Ohlson
Publisher :
Bentang
Category :
Novel

Once again, I review one of the novel that inspired by a true story. This novel tells a story about the author, an American woman who is struggling to help Afghanistan's women when they're in a trauma and depression. Everyone must be surprised when finds out that she establishes a beauty school in order to make it happen.

At first Deborah or Debby comes to Afghanistan to be a volunteer like everybody else though her skill is to be a hairdresser. Then she finds out that Afghanistan needs help especially the women. The Afghan women need a rehab to be healed from trauma, and to rebuild their confidence. Saloons and beauty schools aren't allowed during Taliban's reign. With her skill, hardwork and help from some institutions and important people she establishes a beauty school. She struggles to defend the school no matter what the obstacles blocking her way. She doesn't help Afghan women to be beautiful only, but help them to find their place and save their dignity.
Her life in Afghanistan is such a complicated one. She marries to a Mujahiddin, and even fights with the government.

With this book we can see the real condition of the Afghanistan during and after the war. The culture and the society's conditions are open wide through this book, through a woman's point of view.

The True Story of Catching Dreams

Title of The Book :
Negeri 5 Menara
Author :
A. Fuadi
Publisher :
Gramedia Pustaka Utama
Category :
Novel

This novel is the first book written by A. Fuadi. Negeri 5 Menara is inspired by the true story of the writer when he lives in an Islamic boarding school located in East Java. It's published in 2009.

The main character of this novel is Alif Fikri Chaniago. He is from Maninjau, West Sumatra, and he never goes far from his village. When he has finished his education in a Madrasah Tsanawiyah (an Islamic school which has the same level with Junior High School) his dream is to continue his education in a Senior High School. On the day of his graduation he knows that his mother wants him to continue his study in a Madrasah Aliyah (an Islamic school which has the same level with Senior High School). She wants him to learn more about his religion, and be someone who has big efforts for Islam like Buya Hamka. Alif doesn't want to be Buya Hamka, but he wants to be more like Habibie.

He chooses to leave his village and study in a Madrasah Aliyah called Pondok Madani (PM) that located miles and miles from his village. He wants it because he doesn't want to disappoint her mother, but at the same time he wants to show his dissappointment to her mother. At the first day in his new school he's dazzled by a saying "man jadda wa jada". It means "who is struggling will reach success". He meets a lot of students from every single corner of Indonesia, but there are some friends who are so special for him. They are Raja Lubis from Medan, Said Jufri from Surabaya, Dulmajid from Sumenep, Atang from Bandung, and Baso Salahuddin from Gowa. They brings their unique character from the place they come from, but they are united by the endless activities and the strict rules of Pondok Madani for six years. They are getting closer and call themself as Sahibul Menara. They paint their dreams by staring at the clouds together. They choose different path to pursue their dream, but they take the same place to start; Pondok Madani.

This novel is truly inspiring. It burns our spirit. There are so much positive energy in every single word in this novel. We can experience how it feels to live in a dormitory, and find that many things that happen there are so interesting. This true story reminds us that religion is like an oxygen in everyone's life. We can't seperate it from every aspect of our life including education. It teaches us that we can reach success whatever our choice and our place to start might be. All you have to do is struggling.