Do you ever really forget your first heartbreak? (The Last Song)

Heartbreak. Everybody feels it. What is a heartbreak? No one wants to figure it out. What for? They know it when they feel it. It makes you cry a lot. You’re there with your straight face when all of the sudden that sad thoughts come to you then you couldn’t help but crying. It’s like a part of your body is aching, but you can’t find which part it is and don’t know how to cure it. When it hurts so much it seems like your heart is a massive black hole that sucking your whole body into it until it completely disappears. I felt it then I knew it. It was a heartbreak.

But have you ever felt a heartbreak without realizing it? Well, I have. I’ve felt this heartbreak for many years, but I just realized that it was a heartbreak when I watched the movie entitled The Last Song, adapted from Nicholas Sparks’ novel with the same title. The main character of this movie is a teenager named Veronica Miller or Ronnie, as they call her. This girl is so defensive to all people around her, faithless, and stubborn. When I saw her and caught her words, I told myself : ” That sounds like me”. Well, so I watched this movie and found out the reason behind her behavior : her parents’ divorce. She can’t tolerate when people make a mistake to her. I do too. Afraid to rely herself on someone. Me too. Insecure? Definitely yes. She pushes people away. Me either. In short, we are both afraid to get hurt. For the second time. Third time and so on because we think we can’t handle it.

” It’s what I do, Mom. I push people away.” -Ronnie Miller, The Last Song

The divorce happened when I was a little girl, so what would a little girl know about a heartbreak? As the year passes I’ve found it. Can do nothing about it but deal with it. It affects my behavior of course. I’m afraid of losing. If we can’t have someone with me until the end then why do we have to have him/her in my life from the first place? That kind of behavior called ‘build walls around you so you won’t get hurt’. That works for me..until now.

“ Love is fragile, Ronnie. And we’re not always its best caretakers. We just muddle through and do the best we can and hope this fragile thing survives against all odds.” -Steve Miller (Ronnie’s father), The Last Song

At the end of the movie Ronnie finally realizes that people make mistakes, even when they don’t want to. She can’t just kick someone’s out of her life just because he/she makes a mistake. Like she does to her love, Will. And there’s always a reason behind every mistakes, but the mistakes aren’t made in order to hurt someone, especially the beloved ones. And Ronnie has been through many things to realize this thing, especially when she finds out about his father’s cancer.

“ People make mistakes, Will. Even the people that we love.”- Ronnie Miller, The Last Song

Now I’m still learning to fix myself. I don’t want to be like this forever : never want to stay because afraid of being left or abandoned, never want to love deeply because afraid of being hurt, never want to accept because afraid of being declined, never want to believe because afraid of being betrayed. I hope I’m on my way to be less fragile than who I used to be.

“ We’re not perfect. Any of us. We make mistakes, we screw up, but then we forgive and we move forward.” -Kim (Ronnie’s mother), The Last Song

- Me, Avridita Savitri