Di Persimpangan Aku Berdiri - EdCoustic

Cukuplah…

kusimpan semua ceritaku yang dulu

Tentangku…

tentang apapun yang membuatku tiada berarti

Di Persimpangan aku berdiri, membisu

harus kuputuskan kemanakah ku melangkah…

Jangan lagi usikku meski aku tak tau kemana lagi

aku berlari kejar harapan yang sempat mengelam

biarkanlah kuhidup dengan nafas yang baru

nafas yang menyimpan kedamaian

di persimpangan aku berdiri

Cukup Januari kemarin kutinggalkan kelamku…

tentangku dan masa lalu yang membuatku tiada berarti

“Tak mau lagi aku menukar harapan dengan sesuatu yang membutakan.
Bisakah kamu jangan dulu pergi?
Tinggallah di pikiranku sebentar lagi..
Tunggu sampai hati ini benar-benar siap berbagi.
Sudikah kamu tinggal di hati ini?
Hati yg mesti diberi perbaikan disana sini.
Sudikah kamu bersama diri ini?
Diri ini yang memiliki kekurangan disana sini.
Perkara ini biar Allah yang memutuskan.
Tetapi manusia hidup membutuhkan harapan bukan?”

— Avridita

“Bagai malam
matamu senantiasa menyimpan mimpi
Bagai sebuah buku
matamu adalah sekumpulan kisah
dan bagai angin di pantai
matamu diam-diam menyeretku dari kegamangan”

— Asma Nadia, Sakinah Bersamamu

Escape Day 1 : As Fast As An Elf

Saturday, July 16th 2011

I woke up that day, and my whole body seemed knowing that it would have a great adventure. That day was the day. My friends and I had planned to go to Santolo beach. The last thing I remembered the most before leaving the house that I felt the loads of burden on my back. That was my backpack. I felt like a turtle with its shell. I walked to reach the main road and took a public transportation. I was heading to a bus station. The main problem was I didn’t know how to get to that bus station. My friend, Om Asep told me that I just took a car to a spot then got on a bus to reach the bus station. The other problem was I had never been in a bus alone! When I finally arrived at the my first check point I saw the bus was there, lucky me. The blue-white bus that called Damri. I jumped into the bus, and asked to the well-dressed bus driver whether I took the right bus. He said yes. I chose a seat near the window (always), and watched the view while Maher Zain’s voice through my earphone trying to compete the sound of the radio on the bus. I gave up! I decided to let go of my earphone. Then a song entitled Pergilah Kau (in English it means “Go Away”,haha) sung by Sherina was my company in that short-nice journey.

I could feel the cold of the air conditioner was luring me into sleep when I suddenly realized (Thank You,Allah >_< ) that I got there! The bus station! I met my junior first, a girl named Trian (a freshman, I may add), and the older one, Sasha. I smiled at them. In a high spirit!! Then our eldest (LOL) come, Om Asep. He brought the news that there were a last minute cancellation, so it would be just the five of us! We’re waiting, but our last member Jota wasn’t there after all. I called her then she said : I’m still at home. I was shocked!! Then she texted me that she had mis-read my message. ” I thought it was 9 AM, not 8 AM! I’m so sorry”, she said. I laughed. We left the bus station at 10 AM by bus named Intan Raya. This bus was Pink. It is Pink. And it had a yellow smiley on it. How cute! We chose the back seat. Our journey was not really good. There were traffic jam, and the most dreadful was at Nagreg!! I stole some minutes to sleep. After 4 hours we arrived at Guntur Bus Station, Garut. It was not too crowded. We prayed Dzuhur and Ashar together and tried to find an Elf to continue our journey. Wait, an elf?? Am I in a wonderland or something? LOL.

Elf. I really don’t know why this public transportation is named after a most gracious creature in the fantasy world. Yes, it was fast. Yes, it is. But I could tell that it was not gracious at all!! Well, unless, I thought the way the car avoided another car in last minute was gracious, and how the car could follow the curve of the street perfectly with a TURBO SPEED was indeed gracious. Jota and I kept imagining how the fire bursting on the back of the car if it really possessed a turbo machine :p . Yes yes yes, I could see that the reason why the car was named after that creature. It was fast as an elf, really. But the appearance didn’t look like an elf after all. It was a bit pathetic. And it confused me also : Should I hate or adore the driver because his way of driving was completely mental?? However, the view in the journey from Garut to Sayang Heulang beach was so magnificent. Beautiful!! It was green everywhere, and I could feel the fresh air through my pores. It made me forgot that I was risking my life by riding an elf, but with that kind of view, I believed what I was riding was truly an elf.

In the middle of our journey riding an elf we took a break. Late lunch, everyone!! We were starving. Actually we were starving by intention, so we had nothing to throw up (because we’re riding an elf). Well, just in case. Oh!! The fried chicken was delicious!!!! We continued our journey, and arrived at the beach at 6 PM. 4 hours riding an elf,huh? Lucky, our stomach were strong enough. The elf promised to pick us up on the day we would go home. See ya elf!! Soon we were amazed by the view. Sayang Heulang beach was different, had its own way to show its beauty. And it was surprisingly cold here!! Yep!! It was cold at the beach!! We couldn’t enjoy much, since the twilight had come. We decided to come back after having a break.

After we were settled, we visited the beach. It was near our bungalow. Ah, I haven’t told you that we got a new friend in the bungalow, an animal called Tokek!! It’s a very huge lizard. We found it when Sasha screamed as soon as she saw it. The moon was full, and it gave the colour to to the view. The beach turned black and white. I felt like in a painting. I could see everything clearly with the help of moonlight. I listened to the sound of the wave that told me I was in a real place, not a copy like in a painting. Couldn’t wait for the next day when the sun would bring back the view in its real colour. We went back to our bungalow. After a game, we went to sleep. BUT we were worried because our friend, Tokek had moved somewhere we didn’t know (we hoped that it didn’t go near us).

to be continued.. (Escape Day 2)

Disembunyikan Petang

Tolong deh,becanda sih boleh, tapi jangan yang bikin hati ini meleleh.

Gak apa-apa kok kalo ternyata kamu nggak serius, tapi perlu kamu tau kamu udah bikin luka lamaku hampir habis tergerus.

Tak apa jika akhirnya kamu hanya sekedar angan. Toh dengan begini pun kamu udah bikin pikiran aku ringan.

Walaupun akhirnya kamu hanya sebatas harapan, tapi kamu udah bantu aku melihat ke depan.

Hadirmu masih disembunyikan petang. Tak apa, pikiran kamu bakal datang pun sudah bikin hati ini riang.

Kalo si mas ga jadi datang, berarti Allah telah menyiapkanku rencana yang lebih matang.

Mungkin Allah ingin aku menantimu, karena dengan begini aku bisa menjaga diri dari cinta semu.

Daripada ga bisa tidur gara-gara pikiran melantur, lebih baik aku biarkan kata-kata ini menghambur.

Layaknya gerimis, kamu mampu membuatku mendadak puitis!

Malam ini aku pergi tidur dengan satu tanya : Ya Allah, perasaan ini..apa namanya?

Semoga perasaan ini tak melanggar aturanNya, karena itu aku memilih cara ini untuk menumpahkannya.

Perasaan ini adalah anugerah, aku tak mau mengubahnya jadi musibah.

There’s no need to rush. Maybe it’s just a crush.

(avridita)

Having A Coke With You by Frank O'Hara

Having a coke with you
is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

“Kadang Tuhan membiarkanmu melakukan beberapa kesalahan sebelum kamu melakukan sebuah kebenaran. Kadang Dia juga menyediakan beberapa kesempatan sampai kamu menyadari bahwa salah satunya adalah benar-benar milikmu.”
— Asma Nadia, Sakinah Bersamamu

I'timad ala nafsi

“Ia ingin menjaga diri, ia ingin menghapus kenangan orang-orang sekitarnya, meskipun sulit, tentang dirinya dulu. Ia ingin mandiri. Sendiri.”
— Rani, Dia dalam Mimpi-mimpi Rani (Sakinah Bersamamu by Asma Nadia)

Ya, itu yang sedang aku usahakan. Betapa aku terlambat memetik semua pelajaran dari rentetan-rentetan peristiwa dalam hidupku. Tiba-tiba aku sadar bahwa lewat semua ini Allah berpesan padaku untuk hanya bergantung padanya, bukan pada orang lain. Mandirilah, sendirilah. Allah ingin aku lebih dekat padanya, dan menjaga diriku lebih baik lagi. Aku sendiri merasakan itu, aku ingin beristirahat. Aku membutuhkan Dia. Selalu. Tak masalah jika kesalahpahaman disana sini membuatku asing di dunia ini, di mata orang lain. Namun jangan sampai aku asing di mata Tuhanku sendiri.

Selama ini Allah memanggilku, ingin menyadarkanku bahwa bersandar padaNya aku tak akan terluka. Allah selalu disana menjagaku, mengapa melonggarkan penjagaan diri sendiri dengan membiarkan diriku dijaga oleh orang lain?

“Wahai anakku, latihlah diri kalian untuk selalu bertopang pada diri kalian sendiri dan Allah. I’timad ala nafsi. Segala hal dalam hidup ini tidak abadi. Semua akan pergi silih berganti. Kesusahan akan pergi. Kesenangan akan hilang. Akhirnya hanya tinggal urusan kalian sendiri dengan Allah saja nanti.”
— Ranah 3 Warna

Pesan Berharga

Anak-anakku..

Akan tiba masa ketika kalian dihadang badai dalam hidup. Bisa badai di luar diri kalian, bisa badai di dalam diri kalian. Hadapilah dengan tabah dan sabar, jangan lari. Badai pasti akan berlalu.

Anak-anakku..

Badai paling dahsyat dalam sejarah manusia adalah badai jiwa, badai rohani, badai hati. Inilah badai dalam perjalanan menemukan dirinya yang sejati. Inilah badai yang bisa membongkar dan mengempaskan iman, logika, kepercayaan diri, dan tujuan hidup. Akibat badai ini bisa lebih hebat dari badai ragawi. Menangilah badai rohani dengan iman dan sabar, kalian akan menjinakkan dunia akhirat.

Anak-anakku..

Bila badai datang. Hadapi dengan iman dan sabar. Laut tenang ada untuk dinikmati dan disyukuri. Sebaliknya laut badai ada untuk ditaklukkan, bukan ditangisi. Bukankah karakter pelaut andal ditatah oleh badai yang silih berganti ketika melintas lautan tak bertepi?

Kiai Rais, Ranah 3 Warna

Jika mereka menanyakan namamu, hati pun masih meragu.
Namun nampaknya ke arah dirimulah pikiran harus melantur, baru aku bisa tidur.
- avridita

Yang aku inginkan sekarang adalah sendiri. Agar saat ia datang aku sudah membenahi diri, siap menyongsong esok hari.
Jagalah diri dari fitnah, apabila memang belum waktunya menikah.
Bulan Juli sudah menyapa, hati ini terus bertanya : kapan takdir yang menyatukan kita akan menyapa? - avridita